Send them too early and guests forget. Send them too late and half your guests have already booked their summer holiday. The timing of save the dates, invitations and the RSVP deadline follows a simple countdown from your wedding date, and each date exists for a practical reason.
On this page
The short answer
| What | When to send | Destination or holiday weekend |
|---|---|---|
| Save the dates | 6 to 8 months before | 8 to 12 months before |
| Invitations | 6 to 8 weeks before | 3 months before |
| RSVP deadline | 3 to 4 weeks before | 4 to 6 weeks before |
| Final headcount to caterer | 1 to 2 weeks before | as your venue requires |
| Seating chart finished | 1 to 2 weeks before | 1 to 2 weeks before |
When to send save the dates
Six to eight months before the wedding. Save the dates are there so guests keep the date free and can plan travel, time off and budget. They go to everyone you will invite, so only send them once your guest list is final: everyone who receives a save the date must receive an invitation.
Send them earlier, eight to twelve months before, if:
- It is a destination wedding or most guests have to fly.
- The wedding falls on a holiday weekend.
- It is in peak season in a tourist area where hotels fill up.
A save the date can be a card, a magnet, an email or a link to your wedding website. It only needs your names, the date, the city and "invitation to follow".
When to send wedding invitations
Six to eight weeks before the wedding. This gives guests enough time to reply and make plans, but it is close enough that the date is on their mind. For destination weddings, send them about three months before.
Order invitations about four months before, so you have time for design, proofs, printing, addressing and postage. Take one complete invitation to the post office to have it weighed: square envelopes, thick card and wax seals can need extra postage.
When should the RSVP deadline be?
Three to four weeks before the wedding. Work backwards from the dates that depend on it:
- Your caterer and venue need the final number 7 to 14 days before.
- The seating chart needs the final list, and you need a few evenings to do it.
- Escort cards, place cards and the chart need to be printed.
- Some guests will be late, and you need a few days to chase them.
A deadline four weeks out gives you room for all of this. Write it as a real date ("Kindly reply by 12 May"), not "within three weeks".
Fill in your own dates
Count back from your wedding date:
| Step | Count back | Your date |
|---|---|---|
| Send save the dates | 8 months | |
| Order invitations | 4 months | |
| Mail invitations | 8 weeks | |
| RSVP deadline | 4 weeks | |
| Chase missing replies | 3 weeks | |
| Seating chart draft | 3 weeks | |
| Final headcount | 2 weeks | |
| Print cards and chart | 10 days | |
| Wedding day |
What happens after the RSVPs come in
This is where many couples lose a week: the replies are scattered across a website, text messages and cards. The easiest fix is online RSVP: in seatings it is free, every household gets a private link you send from WhatsApp, Viber or email, and every reply goes straight into your guest list. See collect RSVPs online. Keep one list, with one row per person, RSVP status, meal choice and who they come with. Our wedding guest list guide has a free template.
Then start the seating chart. With the list in one place, it is an evening's work, not a week's. Our step-by-step guide shows how to make a wedding seating chart.
When the RSVPs are in, import your list, seat everyone and print the chart, escort cards and place cards the same evening.
What to do about late RSVPs
- Wait two or three days after the deadline, then message or call. Keep it light: "We are finalising numbers with the caterer, will you be able to join us?"
- Ask a parent or friend to help with their side of the list.
- If you still have no answer, the usual etiquette is to count them as not attending, but let them know kindly that you need an answer by a fixed date.
Invitation etiquette in brief
- Names on the envelope tell guests who is invited. "Mr and Mrs Carter" means two people, "The Carter family" includes children.
- Plus ones: write "and guest" if a guest may bring someone.
- Adults-only weddings: address the invitation only to the adults, and mention it kindly on the wedding website.
- Registry details belong on the website, not in the invitation.
Frequently asked questions
Is 2 months too early to send wedding invitations?
No. Six to eight weeks is standard, so about two months is exactly right. For a destination wedding, send them about three months ahead.
When should save the dates go out?
Six to eight months before the wedding, or eight to twelve months for a destination wedding or a holiday weekend.
When should RSVPs be due for a wedding?
Three to four weeks before the wedding, so you can chase late replies, give your caterer the final number and finish the seating chart.
Do you need save the dates?
They are not required, but they help a lot when guests travel or when the wedding is in a busy season. For a small, local wedding, a text or email is fine.
How long before the wedding should I finish the seating chart?
One to two weeks before, after the RSVP deadline and before the final headcount and printing.
